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bikinipowerbottom:

"are you one of those dramatic gays?"

me: image

cosmo sex tip #669

raynarvaezjunior:

when you grab his shaft, yell “pull the lever kronk”

nowtrytherest:

Just remember: even if you can’t slay dragons and shoot fireballs from your hands, you can step over small objects in your path, and that makes you more badass than a lot of video game characters.

smallstrawhat:

i wish aziz ansari as Tom Haverford would have been the one to announce the new apple watch because that’s such a him idea. (tom haverford voice) It’s a watch…. *finger guns* that makes phonecalls. It’s a watch… *finger guns* that lets you control the temperature of any room. I call it (long pause, looks straight into the camera) Watch the Throne.

sniffing:

when you’re starving and a friend offers you a piece of their food

image

codeinewarrior:

yes i would